25 Things I Absolutely Love It When You Do

One of the most frequent responses to the love language quiz is: “Words of Affirmation.” And principle number two of John Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage work is: “Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration.”

When most couples think about improving their relationships, they focus on learning communication skills or conflict resolution strategies. The truth is, it’s easier, and way more to increase the positivity in your relationship instead only focusing on decreasing negativity with conflict resolution strategies or communication skills.

Cherish the Love You Have

Everyone loves to be appreciated, and there are so many little things that make our partners feel extra special. From the small gestures that make us smile to the big moments of admiration. If you want to strengthen your connection, feel closer you can start right away by verbally expressing your words of affirmation.

25 Fondness and Admiration Conversation Starters

Here is a list of little things you might be forgetting to say out loud to your partner:

  1. I love it when you smile.
  2. I love it when you surprise me with little gestures of kindness.
  3. I love it when you listen to me and make me feel heard.
  4. I love it when you laugh at my jokes, even when they’re not that funny.
  5. I love it when you hold my hand and make me feel safe.
  6. I love it when you cook for me.
  7. I love it when you dance with me, even if we’re not very good at it.
  8. I love it when you make me a cup of tea, and that you know the way I like it.
  9. I love it when you sing along to our favorite songs in the car.
  10. I love it when you give me a hug, it makes me feel loved.
  11. I love it when you plan surprise dates for us.
  12. I love it when you tell me about your day and share your thoughts with me.
  13. I love it when you challenge me to be a better person.
  14. I love it when you encourage me to pursue my dreams.
  15. I love it when you support me in my endeavors.
  16. I love it when you make me laugh.
  17. I love it when you forgive me when I make mistakes.
  18. I love it when you compliment me and make me feel beautiful.
  19. I love it when you take care of me when I’m sick.
  20. I love it when you share your interests with me and teach me new things.
  21. I love it when you trust me and confide in me.
  22. I love it when you show me your vulnerable side, it makes me feel closer to you.
  23. I love it when you appreciate the little things in life.
  24. I love it when you respect my opinions and beliefs.
  25. I love it when you say “I love you”, it never gets old.

Whether it’s bringing me my favorite coffee on a busy morning, taking the time to listen to me vent, or helping me make the bed after a long day – you always find ways to make me feel special. Your thoughtfulness and patience are two of our favorite qualities about you and are things that I truly appreciate!

Love Languages of Conflict and Intimacy

In addition to the 5 Love Languages, which focus on preferences about how partners feels loved, there are also different love language styles regarding intimacy and conflict.

If you are interested in learning more, here are two relationship personality quizzes to test which style of relating you gravitate toward in each of these areas.

For a deeper dive in all of these areas, check out my book, Love Is an Action Verb, which shows you how to connect, manage conflict and have more fun with your partner.


Laura Silverstein, LCSW

Laura Silverstein is a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, and author of Love Is An Action Verb.  She has thirty years of clinical experience and is the founder and co-owner of Main Line Counseling Partners, based in Bryn Mawr, PA. Laura is a frequent contributor to The Gottman Relationship Blog and has appeared as a relationship expert in media outlets such as the New York Times, ABC, and Today. She helps couples find more happiness as a research clinician, speaker, trainer, and writer with a positive, action-oriented style.

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