Enjoy These 5 Relationship-Building Games Based on Gottman’s Sound Relationship House
Here Is a Video of Michael and Laura Silverstein (two Gottman couples therapists) demonstrating 🙂
Building a strong, loving relationship isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s about the small, everyday moments of connection. Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House identifies key areas that help relationships thrive, from deepening understanding to fostering shared meaning. Here are five fun games to play with your partner, each designed to strengthen a different part of your relationship.
1. Building Love Maps: Bowl Full of Questions
A strong relationship starts with knowing your partner’s inner world—who they are, what they love, and what they dream about. Bowl Full of Questions helps you explore and update your Love Maps.
How to Play:
Write a variety of open-ended questions on slips of paper (e.g., What’s something new you’ve been thinking about lately?, What’s one of your happiest childhood memories?). Place them in a bowl and take turns drawing and answering. This simple game fosters curiosity, emotional intimacy, and meaningful conversations.
2. Sharing Fondness and Admiration: Appreciation Ping-Pong
Expressing admiration regularly keeps a relationship strong. Appreciation Ping-Pong is a back-and-forth game that makes sharing fondness fun and spontaneous.
How to Play:
Sit facing each other. One person starts by expressing something they appreciate about the other (e.g., I love how thoughtful you are). The other person responds with their own appreciation. Keep going until you run out of things to say! The goal is to create a positive, uplifting exchange that reinforces gratitude and affection.
3. Turning Toward: Love Language Mystery Game
Turning toward your partner’s bids for connection is essential for a strong bond. This game encourages partners to express love in meaningful ways while sharpening their awareness of each other’s actions.
How to Play:
Within the next 24 hours, each partner must express love using their partner’s primary love language (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch). The catch? Don’t tell them what it is! The receiving partner tries to “catch” the moment by noticing when it happens. At the end of the day, share your guesses and discuss how those actions made you feel.
4. Positive Perspective: If You Love Me, Honey, You’ll Smile
A positive perspective means assuming the best about your partner, even in small moments. This playful game lightens the mood and builds an atmosphere of warmth and connection.
How to Play:
One partner says, If you love me, honey, you’ll smile while trying to keep a straight face. The other partner must respond, I love you, but I just can’t smile—without cracking up. If they smile or laugh, they lose the round. Switch roles and see how long you can resist. This game fosters playfulness and reminds you to enjoy each other’s company.
5. Shared Meaning: Two Truths and a Lie—Deep Down Edition
Shared meaning is about creating a life together with shared values, dreams, and purpose. This version of Two Truths and a Lie helps partners explore deeper desires and longings.
How to Play:
Each partner writes three sentences that all start with Deep down, I truly want to… Two should be true, and one should be a lie. The other partner must guess which one is false. For example:
- Deep down, I truly want to move to a cabin in the mountains one day.
- Deep down, I truly want to learn a new language together.
- Deep down, I truly want to start a bakery with you.
After guessing, discuss the deeper meaning behind the statements. This game encourages open conversation about dreams and helps create a stronger sense of shared purpose.
Final Thoughts
Small, intentional actions build a strong relationship over time. These games provide a fun way to deepen intimacy, increase appreciation, and reinforce trust. Try incorporating them into your routine and watch your relationship grow!